Saturday, May 4, 2013

Hate Me

playlist position: 39 - New Moon alternates (2b) #2
artist: Blue October
album: Foiled
track number: 5/15
year: 2006
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 3 - Edward's perspective
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You... don't... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No."
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz--hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the words he'd spoken.

_________________________

Voices:
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming?
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me.

Voicemail:
”Hi Justin, this is your mother, and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you ware doing. You sounded really uptight last night. It made me a little nervous, and a l... and... well... it made me nervous, it sounded like you were nervous, too. I just wanted to make sure you were really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication. You know I love you, and...
Take care honey. I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye bye.”

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach, leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for three whole months
It’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy, I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling, “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered, “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

Voices:
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming?
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me

Voice: (repeating and slowing)
Hey Justin!

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